


Please Don't Leave Me

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Naruto Drabbles [11]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12737835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Jiraiya is back in the Leaf Villiage, but for how long? Tsunade isn't sure if she can handle him leaving again.





	Please Don't Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> Author has not finished Shippuden

     “Don’t go,” she could have said. Or, “I’ll stay, too.” Oro might even have stayed with them if she insisted. But she didn’t. She didn’t say anything. She turned and walked away, leaving Jiraiya and his kids and his destiny in the Land of Rain. She left, returning to a war she wasn’t sure she understood anymore, if she ever had in the first place.

    Years. It had been years since she’d heard from Jiraiya, though Tsunade tried not to think too hard about it these days. Surely, word would have come to her if he’d died… It didn’t bear thinking about, she reminded herself. He was a constant in her life. They’d spent more years together than apart, from the time they became genin. Tsunade shoved thoughts of Jiraiya away more forcefully. Maybe she would try to tempt Orochimaru out of his lab, if she was feeling that nostalgic. Tsunade sighed, closing her eyes for just a moment as she walked. Who was she kidding? Her shift at the hospital had been exhausting. She was going to go home, take a shower and go to bed.   
     “Tsunade!” A familiar voice called. Was she really so tired she was hallucinating? Strong arms wrapped around her, spinning her in a circle.   
     “Did you miss me?” Jiraiya turned her easily to face him, giant grin splitting his face. Tsunade stared at him, trying to take in three years worth of missed life. The grin slipped from Jiraiya's face, and he pulled her into a tight hug. Tsunade buried her face in his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne, feeling his solidness. He was here. He was real. He was alive. She focused on the solid feel of his chest beneath her cheek, the squeeze of his arms around her shoulder. She pulled back and slapped him. Hard.   
    “I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I assume I did something,” Jiraiya said easily.   
     “Three. Years. I haven’t heard from you in three years, since you decided to stay in the middle of a war-torn country,” Tsunade hissed.   
    “Ah that,” Jiraiya said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah, I probably should have written.”  
    “Really? You think?” Tsunade scolded. She smacked his chest. “A little ‘Hey, I’m not dead’ message would have been nice.”   
    “I’m sorry, Princess,” Jiraiya said. Tsunade sagged, her fatigue coming back full force. Jiraiya slid an arm around her waist.   
    “Let’s get you home, m’kay?” He said, steering her down the street. “I’m assuming you're still in the same apartment?”   
    “Mmm hmmm,”   
    “Good.” Tsunade let herself be guided through the village. Jiraiya was one of the few people she actually trusted enough to let herself relax around. Jiraiya dug a key out of his pocket and let himself into her apartment.   
    “You still have that?” Tsunade asked, surprised.   
    “Of course! Having a key is much easier than having to pick the lock. I have keys to Oro’s lab, too. Though he was harder to convince than you were.”   
    “Why do we put up with you?” Tsunade asked shaking her head.   
    “Pretty sure it’s just habit at this point,” Jiraiya said cheerfully. He nudged her toward the bedroom. “Go get cleaned up, I’m going to order us some take out.”   
    “Just making yourself right at home, aren’t you?” Tsunade asked, arching a brow.   
    “Only until I get get you settled,” Jiraiya said. His seriousness caught are Tsunade off guard.   
     “Are… Are you leaving again?” She asked, hating how scared her voice sounded.   
     “Your apartment or the village? That’s two different questions,” he said.  
     “Jiraiya.”  
     “I just got back. I figured I’d stick around for a while, see which way the wind’s blowing,” Jiraiya said, his voice a little uneven.   
     “And what if it blows you away again?” Tsunade pushed.   
     “Tsunade, what do you want me to say?” Jiraiya asked. “That I’ll stay in the village forever? You know I can’t do that. I’m meant to do… Something, with my life. I’ve never succeeded in anything in my life, Princess. And I need my life to mean something.” Words pushed against Tsunade’s teeth. Don’t go. Stay with me. She bit them back, saying instead,   
     “I’m going to shower.” She turned away, pretending not to hear Jiraiya’s defeated sigh. Tsunade stepped into the shower, hissing at the heat. It was hot, too hot, but she didn’t turn the temperature down, letting the water pound over her. Maybe the hot water could wash away her confusion, too.   
Jiraiya was still in her living room, take out boxes spread out over the table. Tsunade sunk into the couch gratefully.  
     “This looks amazing. I don’t know if I have anything that qualifies as real food in the apartment.”   
     “History would suggest no,” Jiraiya said. “You’re drawer of take out menus next to the phone is extremely well stocked, though.”  
     “Like you do any better,” Tsunade said, punching him lightly in the shoulder.  
     “I do, actually. Unlike you and Orochimaru, I remember that eating is a thing on a regular basis. I’m even a halfway decent cook. I did keep myself and the kids fed for the last three years.” Jiraiya’s cheerful expression faltered, just for a moment, but Tsunade caught it.   
     “Why did you leave them?” She asked. Jiraiya shrugged, his shoulders brushing hers where they sat side by side.   
     “Because if I didn’t, I never would. But they know enough, enough to keep them out of trouble, enough to look after one another. It’s all I could give them. And me, I’m a wanderer. Got to keep moving y’know,” Jiraiya said, his voice soft and sad.   
     “Your destiny,” Tsunade said.   
     “My destiny,” Jiraiya repeated. “I just… I just want to do something that matters, Tsunade. This whole world is fucked up, and destiny or no, I don’t think that I can fix it. I don’t even know if I can make an impact. But I’ve always been a fool, so I keep trying.” Tsunade didn’t know what to say, so she just bumped Jiraiya’s shoulder with her own. He gave her a small smile. Jiraiya gathered the remains of their meal, throwing away their trash and putting any salvageable left-overs in the fridge. Jiraiya laced his fingers behind his head.   
     “Well, I’ll be off,” he said. “Just for the night.”   
     “Where are you staying?” Tsunade asked.   
     “I figured I’d break into Orochimaru’s place and stay on his couch,” Jiraiya said with a grin.   
     “Tch. You might as well stay on my couch, since you’re already here,” Tsunade said.   
     “Are you sure?” Jiraiya asked.   
     “Don’t look so surprised. I just don’t want Orochimaru to accidentally kill you if you startle him,” Tsunade said. Jiraiya laughed.  
     “All right, you’ve convinced me. Now go to bed. You look about ready to drop.”  
     “You know just how to flatter a girl, don’t you?” Tsunade grumbled.   
     “It’s one of my many talents,” Jiraiya grinned.

     The couch was empty when Tsunade got up. Her heart plummeted. He’d left again, without a word.   
     “Tsunade! Your kitchen is a disaster! You don’t have anything in here! But I made breakfast,” Jiraiya said, poking his head through the kitchen doorway. He had a smudge of flour on his nose. “Pancakes and eggs,” he said handing Tsunade a plate. “And your kitchen now has at least some of the basics. You’re welcome.”   
     “I thought you’d left,” Tsunade said flatly.   
     “I won’t leave without telling you,” Jiraiya said. “I give you my word.”   
     “But you will leave.”  
     “Tsunade…” Jiraiya started.   
     “Everyone leaves…” Tsunade whispered. But Jiraiya heard her. He sighed. Stepping closer, he pulled Tsunade against his chest.   
     “Come with me,” he said.  
     “What?” Tsunade pulled back enough to look up at him.   
     “Come with me,” Jiraiya repeated.  
     “I… I…” Tsunade stammered.  
     “What’s holding you back?” Jiraiya asked.   
     “I can’t lose you too,” Tsunade said. “ I always lose, I lose everyone I care about.”   
     “Tsunade, how long have you known me?” Jiraiya asked.   
     “Too many years,” she answered.   
     “Exactly. I’m not going to make you any promises. You know I can’t, and I won’t do that to you. But I’m offering, Tsunade. Come with me. See the world. Maybe together, we can find something that matters. Hell, I’m certainly not finding it on my own. You always lose, I fail at everything I try. How much worse could it be together?” He watched her face, arms still around her, waiting for an answer.   
     “Yes,” Tsunade said. The words she usually choked back came tumbling out. “What the hell. Yes.” 


End file.
